Dear Pirates Bay,

The reason you can’t keep your lifeguards is that you don’t pay nearly enough. These kids are trained extensively. They learn to save people in shallow water, deep water, while conscious, unconscious, and full on panicking. They may have to save victims with head, neck or spine injuries in various depth of water, and know how to immobilize them on a backboard in the process. The know CPR and all kinds of first aid. 

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