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Saturday
March 20, 2010 Since 1922 |
Take that, you ugly bad guys!
By Jim Finley
Contributor Published October 9, 2009 Next thing you know, a group of goodie two-shoes will want to ban billiard balls. You just watch.
They’ll hear what a North Richland Hills mom did to a pair of thieving thugs the other day and will immediately call on Congress to ban billiard balls across America. Or at the least have every private citizen register all billiard balls in their possession.
If that happens you can blame Paula Ollie, the 27-year-old who chased the bad guys away from her home by strafing them with the aforementioned billiard balls.
Personally, I love it! You go, girl!
I read about this in a story by Domingo Ramirez Jr., a reporter for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. I’m going to nominated it for a Pulitzer.
(I take it North Richland Hills is somewhere near Fort Worth. It’s also north of South Richland Hills, I presume.)
Not only did Paula pull off a daring feat, she becomes the second woman to join my American Heroes Hall of Honor in less than a month. The other, of course, was Christina Cox, who was featured in The Sun after stepping forward to bash drivers who speed in our neighborhoods (they’re still speeding in mine, officer).
Since I like women far better than men, I’m pleased by the actions of Paula and Christina. We girls need to stick together.
With Paula, I scarcely know where to begin. She did all sorts of amazing stuff.
It began when she “heard something outside, and I went to the front door where I heard these two men talking quietly,” according to Domingo’s story. “They didn’t ring the doorbell or knock. I put my ear to the door and I sensed that something was wrong.”
Then she sprang into action like she was Wonder Woman – or Sarah Palin.
After grabbing her son’s bike helmet and filling it with billiard balls from the pool table, Paula “made it to the backdoor, climbed a tree, and onto the roof,” she said. Wow!
At this point, she didn’t just open fire, she began her bombing operation with a statement, and you’re going to absolutely love this.
“I went to the front of the house and yelled, ‘DEATH FROM ABOVE!’” She then commenced to tossing those billiard balls.
If you’re keeping score – and Paula was – she nailed both men. She does admit she “did miss once because there’s a dent in the front door.”
According to Paula, the would-be burglars “ran for their lives cursing, holding their arms above their heads for protection.” Big weenies!
After leaving the roof – I’m guessing she may have floated down like a butterfly – she called police. But police weren’t enamored with her actions, saying they “recommend that people call 911 if they see strangers at their home.”
I must admit the lawmen have a point. But Paula should still win a medal.
Giving final details, Paula said she “quietly” walked through the backdoor to the tree, placed the “straps of the helmet in her mouth” (like a Navy Seal), and skedaddled up the tree and onto the roof.”
(Come to think of it, I’m not sure I could make it to my roof using a ladder.)
Even with her bold actions, the bad guys were lucky in one respect. Let Paula explain:
“If I had known where the
BB-gun was, I would have used that. There’s also a crossbow in the house, and if I had known where the ammunition was, I would have grabbed that.”
I guess there are a couple of lessons here. First and foremost, call the law.
Secondly, if I were these crooks, I’d get the heck out of Dodge, as they say. Someplace out of the range of the fast-balling Paula.
Yep, I take flight like I was Roman Polanski.
Jim Finley is a retired managing editor for The Baytown Sun.
Contributor Published October 9, 2009 Next thing you know, a group of goodie two-shoes will want to ban billiard balls. You just watch.
They’ll hear what a North Richland Hills mom did to a pair of thieving thugs the other day and will immediately call on Congress to ban billiard balls across America. Or at the least have every private citizen register all billiard balls in their possession.
If that happens you can blame Paula Ollie, the 27-year-old who chased the bad guys away from her home by strafing them with the aforementioned billiard balls.
Personally, I love it! You go, girl!
I read about this in a story by Domingo Ramirez Jr., a reporter for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. I’m going to nominated it for a Pulitzer.
(I take it North Richland Hills is somewhere near Fort Worth. It’s also north of South Richland Hills, I presume.)
Not only did Paula pull off a daring feat, she becomes the second woman to join my American Heroes Hall of Honor in less than a month. The other, of course, was Christina Cox, who was featured in The Sun after stepping forward to bash drivers who speed in our neighborhoods (they’re still speeding in mine, officer).
Since I like women far better than men, I’m pleased by the actions of Paula and Christina. We girls need to stick together.
With Paula, I scarcely know where to begin. She did all sorts of amazing stuff.
It began when she “heard something outside, and I went to the front door where I heard these two men talking quietly,” according to Domingo’s story. “They didn’t ring the doorbell or knock. I put my ear to the door and I sensed that something was wrong.”
Then she sprang into action like she was Wonder Woman – or Sarah Palin.
After grabbing her son’s bike helmet and filling it with billiard balls from the pool table, Paula “made it to the backdoor, climbed a tree, and onto the roof,” she said. Wow!
At this point, she didn’t just open fire, she began her bombing operation with a statement, and you’re going to absolutely love this.
“I went to the front of the house and yelled, ‘DEATH FROM ABOVE!’” She then commenced to tossing those billiard balls.
If you’re keeping score – and Paula was – she nailed both men. She does admit she “did miss once because there’s a dent in the front door.”
According to Paula, the would-be burglars “ran for their lives cursing, holding their arms above their heads for protection.” Big weenies!
After leaving the roof – I’m guessing she may have floated down like a butterfly – she called police. But police weren’t enamored with her actions, saying they “recommend that people call 911 if they see strangers at their home.”
I must admit the lawmen have a point. But Paula should still win a medal.
Giving final details, Paula said she “quietly” walked through the backdoor to the tree, placed the “straps of the helmet in her mouth” (like a Navy Seal), and skedaddled up the tree and onto the roof.”
(Come to think of it, I’m not sure I could make it to my roof using a ladder.)
Even with her bold actions, the bad guys were lucky in one respect. Let Paula explain:
“If I had known where the
BB-gun was, I would have used that. There’s also a crossbow in the house, and if I had known where the ammunition was, I would have grabbed that.”
I guess there are a couple of lessons here. First and foremost, call the law.
Secondly, if I were these crooks, I’d get the heck out of Dodge, as they say. Someplace out of the range of the fast-balling Paula.
Yep, I take flight like I was Roman Polanski.
Jim Finley is a retired managing editor for The Baytown Sun.