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Monday
March 15, 2010 Since 1922 |
Tune in, turn on, drop out
By Luke Hales
I’m a little late in writing this column, as these events have already passed by, but still I would be remiss if I did not vent my annoyance. So then … here we go.
I’m certain everyone has heard about the murders related to the reality show “Megan Wants a Millionaire.” The star, Megan Hauserman, used to be a Playboy model, and is an alumnus of such worthwhile television spectacles as “Rock of Love with Bret Michaels,” “Beauty and the Geek,” and “I Love Money.” She’s not to blame here, but she is involved, since her name is in the title of the show.
Anyway, Ryan Jenkins was a contestant on this “Millionaire” show. He allegedly won $250, 000 on this show by being the big winner (which I guess means he won Megan Hauserman? I have no idea). At some point along the way he married Jasmine Fiore, who I think was a stripper.
Fast forward to the point where this Fiore lady was found stuffed in a suitcase with her fingers and teeth missing. She was, in fact, dead, for those still wondering. They later found Ryan Jenkins hanging from a beam in a Canadian motel room.
That’s reality for you.
All that being said, here’s the deal: They’re going to keep making these shows as long as we keep watching them.
I’m not saying all reality show contestants are murderers or anything. Surely not; the odds of that being the case are staggering as all get-out. But seriously, look what’s happened to TV. They might not be murderers, but they’re slowly killing entertainment in America.
And it’s not just here. A Pakistani reality show contestant just drowned during the filming of a reality show there.
When did TV become dangerous?
You know as well as I do that television shows used to be entertaining. I’m not one for nostalgia, (well, for the most part anyway), but the writers used to have to sit in a room together and come up with funny stuff, or dramatic stuff, or whatever. And the kicker was that those shows were filmed live, so the actors actually had to know their lines. In fact, it wasn’t long ago that that was still the case.
Look at what’s on now. You’ve got a few decent actual shows, but they’re few and far between. There’s a few funny sitcoms, but the rest aren’t. At all.
Instead, there’s “American Idol,” “America’s Got Talent,” (which David Hasselhoff owes a great deal of gratitude to for actually making him relevant again) and too many other train wrecks to mention. They’re all over the cable stations too, from The Military Channel to The Food Network to The History Channel.
Some of these are beneficial. They really are. You can learn a lot from some of these shows about home repair or cooking or something. These don’t bother me. But what about these shows about … well … nothing? I have a feeling this is the basic pitch meeting for a buncha these disasters:
Network guy: Okay, whatcha got?”
Producer guy: “We figured we’d get some celebrity no one’s seen in 20 years and surround them with nasty, vulgar, and socially unacceptable people. Then we’ll let them fight it out to see who gets to pretend to be in a relationship with said celebrity. Along the way they have to be as disgusting as possible, to the point that the people at home don’t know if they should watch or vomit. ”
Network guy: “Sounds good. Let’s make it happen. “
It’s just so sad. Because, quite frankly, there’s nothing real about these shows. They’re scripted, those people are actors, and the whole thing is meant to disturb us viscerally.
See, here’s the one thing these reality show producers have figured out: people like to judge other people. We like to watch morally ambiguous humans do terrible things so that we can say, “Wow. My life is pretty miserable, but at least I don’t know anybody like that.”
We’re also obsessed with gossip. We loooooooove to gossip. So people watch these shows and go to work the next day and talk to their co-workers about that girl on that show who got in a fight with that other girl and I can’t believe that because I thought she was so nice but she gets mean when she’s drunk and do you really think she’ll win …”
Meanwhile, there’s rape in the Sudan, North Korea wants us all to die, and we’re still in a recession. But whatever.
Here’s an idea: You want to escape your own menial existence? Cool. Read a book. Go outside. Do yoga. Actually spend some time without the TV being on. Do something, anything, it doesn’t matter. Just don’t watch these shows. Like I said, they’ll keep making them until we quit watching them.
I’m being judgmental, I know, and I really sort of feel bad about that. Sort of. But seriously, can we PLEASE, as a race, not further enable the proliferation of these shows? They are corrupting our morality. More than that, they’re teaching our youth that behavior like that is okay. And it’s not. Not at all.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go watch “The Iron Chef.” That show is awesome. I wonder if they’re gonna use squid or buffalo lungs as their secret ingredient?
Luke Hales is the assistant managing editor for The Baytown Sun.
I’m a little late in writing this column, as these events have already passed by, but still I would be remiss if I did not vent my annoyance. So then … here we go.
I’m certain everyone has heard about the murders related to the reality show “Megan Wants a Millionaire.” The star, Megan Hauserman, used to be a Playboy model, and is an alumnus of such worthwhile television spectacles as “Rock of Love with Bret Michaels,” “Beauty and the Geek,” and “I Love Money.” She’s not to blame here, but she is involved, since her name is in the title of the show.
Anyway, Ryan Jenkins was a contestant on this “Millionaire” show. He allegedly won $250, 000 on this show by being the big winner (which I guess means he won Megan Hauserman? I have no idea). At some point along the way he married Jasmine Fiore, who I think was a stripper.
Fast forward to the point where this Fiore lady was found stuffed in a suitcase with her fingers and teeth missing. She was, in fact, dead, for those still wondering. They later found Ryan Jenkins hanging from a beam in a Canadian motel room.
That’s reality for you.
All that being said, here’s the deal: They’re going to keep making these shows as long as we keep watching them.
I’m not saying all reality show contestants are murderers or anything. Surely not; the odds of that being the case are staggering as all get-out. But seriously, look what’s happened to TV. They might not be murderers, but they’re slowly killing entertainment in America.
And it’s not just here. A Pakistani reality show contestant just drowned during the filming of a reality show there.
When did TV become dangerous?
You know as well as I do that television shows used to be entertaining. I’m not one for nostalgia, (well, for the most part anyway), but the writers used to have to sit in a room together and come up with funny stuff, or dramatic stuff, or whatever. And the kicker was that those shows were filmed live, so the actors actually had to know their lines. In fact, it wasn’t long ago that that was still the case.
Look at what’s on now. You’ve got a few decent actual shows, but they’re few and far between. There’s a few funny sitcoms, but the rest aren’t. At all.
Instead, there’s “American Idol,” “America’s Got Talent,” (which David Hasselhoff owes a great deal of gratitude to for actually making him relevant again) and too many other train wrecks to mention. They’re all over the cable stations too, from The Military Channel to The Food Network to The History Channel.
Some of these are beneficial. They really are. You can learn a lot from some of these shows about home repair or cooking or something. These don’t bother me. But what about these shows about … well … nothing? I have a feeling this is the basic pitch meeting for a buncha these disasters:
Network guy: Okay, whatcha got?”
Producer guy: “We figured we’d get some celebrity no one’s seen in 20 years and surround them with nasty, vulgar, and socially unacceptable people. Then we’ll let them fight it out to see who gets to pretend to be in a relationship with said celebrity. Along the way they have to be as disgusting as possible, to the point that the people at home don’t know if they should watch or vomit. ”
Network guy: “Sounds good. Let’s make it happen. “
It’s just so sad. Because, quite frankly, there’s nothing real about these shows. They’re scripted, those people are actors, and the whole thing is meant to disturb us viscerally.
See, here’s the one thing these reality show producers have figured out: people like to judge other people. We like to watch morally ambiguous humans do terrible things so that we can say, “Wow. My life is pretty miserable, but at least I don’t know anybody like that.”
We’re also obsessed with gossip. We loooooooove to gossip. So people watch these shows and go to work the next day and talk to their co-workers about that girl on that show who got in a fight with that other girl and I can’t believe that because I thought she was so nice but she gets mean when she’s drunk and do you really think she’ll win …”
Meanwhile, there’s rape in the Sudan, North Korea wants us all to die, and we’re still in a recession. But whatever.
Here’s an idea: You want to escape your own menial existence? Cool. Read a book. Go outside. Do yoga. Actually spend some time without the TV being on. Do something, anything, it doesn’t matter. Just don’t watch these shows. Like I said, they’ll keep making them until we quit watching them.
I’m being judgmental, I know, and I really sort of feel bad about that. Sort of. But seriously, can we PLEASE, as a race, not further enable the proliferation of these shows? They are corrupting our morality. More than that, they’re teaching our youth that behavior like that is okay. And it’s not. Not at all.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go watch “The Iron Chef.” That show is awesome. I wonder if they’re gonna use squid or buffalo lungs as their secret ingredient?
Luke Hales is the assistant managing editor for The Baytown Sun.