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Friday
March 19, 2010 Since 1922 |
The proper care of people cubs
By Luke Hales
That’s not all teachers do, of course, but they do a lot of that, because kids are not programmed by nature to be quiet. They’re like puppies or something. They bark and run around and stuff. They have to be trained.
I mean no offense to the kiddos, either. It’s not their fault. It’s just the reality of the situation. I’m not arguing in favor of evolution or anything, I’m just saying that children are animals.
You ever watch those nature shows on TV? Look at the baby bears or lion cubs or whatever. What do they do? They wrestle. They run in circles and try to bite each other. That is, until Mama Bear or Mama Lion corrects their behavior with a swift paw to the noggin.
Thus, school.
While our people cubs are in their care, teachers serve as parental figures. They impart their wisdom to the children in he form of life experience and knowledge of whatever it is they’re teaching. They enforce rules meant to keep the people cubs from killing each other (see above references to Mama Bear and Mama Lion). And, more often than not, they comfort crying little ones and give hugs, they show their pride in jobs well done and motivate those who could be doing better.
The simple fact is that, during the school year, our kids see their teachers more than they do their parents. For eight hours a day these folks take care of our kids in just abut every way imaginable. And they deserve our thanks.
I spent a few years as a teacher. I’m not saying I was good at it or that I inspired them to go on and aspire to greatness. I’m pretty sure I never gave an inspirational speech. I don’t know if anything I said to my students ever sunk in. But during my tour of duty, I grew to truly respect those educators who keep coming back every year, dusting off the desks and reloading their red pen collection.
The life of a teacher is not an easy one. Besides the obvious difficulties associated with trying to cram information into dozens of brains, they also have to grade papers, assess progress, and occasionally eat something. They spend hundreds of dollars on classroom supplies, they wait for the copy machine like they waited for bread during the Great Depression, and they take phone calls from parents whose kids made up some great stories about how the teacher in question beat them repeatedly with a piece of lumber.
The best part? They have to do all this for people who not only think they know more than the teacher, but think they’ve got it ALL figured out. Not just the school stuff, but everything. Most 7th graders are ready to move out and start their new lives, emancipated from their parents, their school, and other boring stuff.
Now, this mostly applies to the older cubs, the ones out of elementary school who’ve lived long enough to glean a few things from TV shows that teach them lovely things about vulgarity, adultery and other adult topics. These kiddos hit the desks with the attitude that there’s nothing they can be taught.
Here’s the lesson they’re missing. Let’s say you’re a freshman in high school, with your whole life ahead of you. Instead of staying in school, why not drop out? Hey, you’ve got all the skills you need to make it on your own, right? Do it! Pack your bags and head out into the world.
Now, you’re gonna have to find a job. This is unfortunate, as the only jobs open to 15-year-olds are either menial or illegal. I mean, you could start mowing yards. A lot of them. But that’s seasonal work. Lemonade stands are seasonal too, and you’d look sort of silly competing with 8-year-olds on the sidewalk.
Then you have to find a place to live. Obviously, since you’re grown up you’ve gotta have some swanky hip place of your own. But what can you afford on your salary? I assure you, it will be small. There’s a good chance also that you’ll inherit some pets, mostly of the rodent variety.
Oh … I’m sorry. Did you want electricity? That’s a bill. Water? Bill. Cable? Bill. And you wanted to eat? That’s gonna cost you.
And what about a car? Yikes. They’re not cheap. I wouldn’t advise stealing one, either, although jail does have free lights and water, as long as you don’t mind a criminal record.
So then, the point. School doesn’t cost you anything. Stick around. Learn something. Get out there when you’re ready. And trust me: your teachers know more than you do. Show some respect, would ya?
That’s a good lesson for everybody, in fact.
Class dismissed.
Luke Hales is the assistant managing editor for The Baytown Sun.
That’s not all teachers do, of course, but they do a lot of that, because kids are not programmed by nature to be quiet. They’re like puppies or something. They bark and run around and stuff. They have to be trained.
I mean no offense to the kiddos, either. It’s not their fault. It’s just the reality of the situation. I’m not arguing in favor of evolution or anything, I’m just saying that children are animals.
You ever watch those nature shows on TV? Look at the baby bears or lion cubs or whatever. What do they do? They wrestle. They run in circles and try to bite each other. That is, until Mama Bear or Mama Lion corrects their behavior with a swift paw to the noggin.
Thus, school.
While our people cubs are in their care, teachers serve as parental figures. They impart their wisdom to the children in he form of life experience and knowledge of whatever it is they’re teaching. They enforce rules meant to keep the people cubs from killing each other (see above references to Mama Bear and Mama Lion). And, more often than not, they comfort crying little ones and give hugs, they show their pride in jobs well done and motivate those who could be doing better.
The simple fact is that, during the school year, our kids see their teachers more than they do their parents. For eight hours a day these folks take care of our kids in just abut every way imaginable. And they deserve our thanks.
I spent a few years as a teacher. I’m not saying I was good at it or that I inspired them to go on and aspire to greatness. I’m pretty sure I never gave an inspirational speech. I don’t know if anything I said to my students ever sunk in. But during my tour of duty, I grew to truly respect those educators who keep coming back every year, dusting off the desks and reloading their red pen collection.
The life of a teacher is not an easy one. Besides the obvious difficulties associated with trying to cram information into dozens of brains, they also have to grade papers, assess progress, and occasionally eat something. They spend hundreds of dollars on classroom supplies, they wait for the copy machine like they waited for bread during the Great Depression, and they take phone calls from parents whose kids made up some great stories about how the teacher in question beat them repeatedly with a piece of lumber.
The best part? They have to do all this for people who not only think they know more than the teacher, but think they’ve got it ALL figured out. Not just the school stuff, but everything. Most 7th graders are ready to move out and start their new lives, emancipated from their parents, their school, and other boring stuff.
Now, this mostly applies to the older cubs, the ones out of elementary school who’ve lived long enough to glean a few things from TV shows that teach them lovely things about vulgarity, adultery and other adult topics. These kiddos hit the desks with the attitude that there’s nothing they can be taught.
Here’s the lesson they’re missing. Let’s say you’re a freshman in high school, with your whole life ahead of you. Instead of staying in school, why not drop out? Hey, you’ve got all the skills you need to make it on your own, right? Do it! Pack your bags and head out into the world.
Now, you’re gonna have to find a job. This is unfortunate, as the only jobs open to 15-year-olds are either menial or illegal. I mean, you could start mowing yards. A lot of them. But that’s seasonal work. Lemonade stands are seasonal too, and you’d look sort of silly competing with 8-year-olds on the sidewalk.
Then you have to find a place to live. Obviously, since you’re grown up you’ve gotta have some swanky hip place of your own. But what can you afford on your salary? I assure you, it will be small. There’s a good chance also that you’ll inherit some pets, mostly of the rodent variety.
Oh … I’m sorry. Did you want electricity? That’s a bill. Water? Bill. Cable? Bill. And you wanted to eat? That’s gonna cost you.
And what about a car? Yikes. They’re not cheap. I wouldn’t advise stealing one, either, although jail does have free lights and water, as long as you don’t mind a criminal record.
So then, the point. School doesn’t cost you anything. Stick around. Learn something. Get out there when you’re ready. And trust me: your teachers know more than you do. Show some respect, would ya?
That’s a good lesson for everybody, in fact.
Class dismissed.
Luke Hales is the assistant managing editor for The Baytown Sun.