I am proud to report that I escaped unharmed.
Yes, those foul kidnappers who took me from The Baytown Sun, got in front of my computer and typed last week’s horrid NFL playoff predictions have been apprehended and sent back to Learn Something About Sports school.
But only after butchering my good name with four horrible and wrong Wildcard round picks – although I did see merit in all of them a little.
So now I am back and going to pick the divisional round and return next week for the Final Four predictions of the two conference title games and Super Bowl.
Shame, shame on those horrible kidnappers.
AFC Divisional Games
(1) Baltimore 30, Tennessee 17
This is going to be an interesting dichotomy of football. Tennessee is a grind it out, pound you with Derrick Henry, and bludgeon you defensively team. Baltimore is a quick strike offense that has been torching people on first drives and wearing you down with the legs and arm of Lamar Jackson. That defense? Isn’t too bad either. Titans ended Tom Brady’s run (probably) in New England last week and will be feeling good going to home of Blue Crabs and Edgar Allen Poe, but that ends after a tense first three quarters. Ravens pull away.
(4) Houston 34, (2) Kansas City 30
Now, those kidnappers gave me some kind of drug that made me think like them and I apologize in advance for any mistakes I make going forward – jerks. So that must explain why I am picking the Texans to pull off another win over Kansas City. The Texans tend to back up an average win with a good one before losing one week later. But, a win like that against Buffalo can raise expectations and confidence. Patrick Mahomes will throw a left-handed not-no look pass into the end zone for a pick with :07 left and the Texans move on. Those kidnappers borrowed that line from me while they had me tied up and were feeding me all that Yankee food!
NFC Divisional Games
(6) Minnesota 23, (1) San Francisco 21
The 49ers are in fact a very good team. A welcome surprise kind of good. Yet, Minnesota, in many ways, is a carbon copy. They both use brutal defenses and a punishing running game. The only difference? Is that San Francisco’s quarterback – Jimmy G – hasn’t been as massive an underachiever as the Vikings’ Kirk Cousins. But, Minnesota has a lot more playoff experience and a veteran coach. That makes the difference as a last-minute field goal ends proceedings. Wait, what are the kidnappers doing back here?
(2) Green Bay 28, (5) Seattle 21
These two have had some epic playoff showdowns – and no 2015 was not an epic comeback when it was more of a gigantic Packers choke job. This year could be more of the same. Both teams have Hall of Fame quarterbacks, but the Green Bay weather could play a small part and the lack of a running game should doom the Seahawks. A-Rod is on a mission to win a second Super Bowl so they have the edge here with a late 28-14 lead before holding off a rally. Oh no, the kidnappers! They are pulling me out of my chair! Why are they typing…
Until next week’s whodunnit.