Poor Macaroni, the cat, has fleas. I stopped by the pet store to buy a new flea collar and to my shock and horror, the flea collar costs $82. Nearly a hundred bucks for a good flea collar. It is guaranteed to last eight months. As stunned as I was over the price, the next event was even more shocking. I had to show them my driver’s license and they had to unlock the case to get the collar out. It was like I was buying a controlled substance. 

I wanted to ask the clerk if they were keeping track of people buying flea collars to see if people were “fencing” them on the black market, or was there even a black market for expensive flea collars? He didn’t look amused. I took the flea collar and drove off wondering how I was going to explain the high cost of flea killing to my wife.  

Anyway Macaroni was just delighted to have a new collar. I put it on around her neck and she ran all over the house playing with it. She darted out the doggy door to show the squirrels and the birds her new collar, though by the way they scattered I can tell you they were not the least bit impressed. All day she sat in the front window to show the neighbors her sparking collar.  

Our neighbor Christy walks her Scottish terrier in the afternoon on a leash. Her gold and white cat follows along with no leash. Macaroni had been so anxious to see them. She jumped out of the front window and flew out the back door so she could run down the driveway to show off her collar to Christy’s cat.  It was funny to see the two cats admiring one another. The Scottish terrier could not have cared less, but that’s a terrier for you. 

Meanwhile, the dead fleas are piling up over here. If you don’t see me or hear from me, you’ll know that $82 collar is working its magic, killing fleas right and left. 

For that kind of money, it should come with its own sweeper. 


Lanny Griffith is an REL graduate and media mogul. Contact him at lgriffith11@gmail.com.   

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